Kate Middleton tweets out selfie of her and her kids on the moon; crazy conspiracy theorists doubt its legitimacy
LONDON—In a stunning revelation that has left the internet reeling, the Duchess of Cambridge has taken to Twitter to share...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Boeing jets come out as trans-safe: they are not safe but they ‘identify as safe’
SEATTLE—In a groundbreaking turn of events, Boeing has announced that their planes are now officially trans-safe. This comes as a...
Mark Ruffalo and Ramy Youssef demand Israel stop bombing innocent babies in Gaza so the Gazans can go kill innocent babies in abortion
HOLLYWOOD—In a move that has left political analysts scratching their heads, Hollywood actors Mark Ruffalo and Ramy Youssef have come...
Democrats praise Biden for not dying during State of the Union address
WASHINGTON, DC—Without much to celebrate, Democrats turned to the old failsafe of the president not dying during the speech as...
BREAKING: CNN has called 666 of Ukraine’s 783 presidential primary delegates for Nikki Haley
KIEV—In a stunning turn of events, CNN has called 666 of Ukraine's 783 presidential primary delegates for former U.S. Ambassador...
BREAKING: Keith Olbermann suffers rare TDS complication of urinating out of his eyes
NEW YORK—In a shocking development, renowned political commentator Keith Olbermann has been diagnosed with a rare and previously unheard-of complication...
Help Us Celebrate Women’s History Month with our ‘Best-Made Sandwich Contest’
This March, we at Genesius Times want to honor women's history like never before. We're going all out to celebrate...
BREAKING: Donald Trump says he will leave the country if Donald Trump is elected president
MAR-A-LAGO, FL—In a surprising turn of events that has left pundits scratching their heads and citizens divided, former President Donald...
BREAKING: Due to staggering inflation, February now has 29 days
WASHINGTON, DC—As inflation continues to soar to unprecedented heights, the calendar is feeling the squeeze, with February now slated to...
BREAKING: Mitch McConnell to step down from Senate leadership role to focus more on staring blankly into space
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that has left Capitol Hill both puzzled and oddly relieved, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has...
