This Day in Fiery but Mostly-Peaceful History: Japan Bombs Pearl Harbor
(CNN) Japan launched a fiery but mostly peaceful attack on the United States at the Hawaiian naval base Pearl Harbor...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Ivy League Presidents correct lawmakers: ‘It’s not genocide, it’s *democratic genocide’
In a stunning display of intellectual prowess, Ivy League presidents Liz Magill, Sally Kornbluth, and Claudine Gay have come forward...
We’re DINKS and we want you to know how fulfilled we are by letting you know how fulfilled we are
In a world filled with acronyms, we proudly wear the badge of DINK (Dual Income, No Kids). But we're not...
Following Santos’ expulsion for being a lying money launderer, Congress expels all of Congress for being lying money launderers
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events that left the nation both bewildered and mildly impressed, Congress has collectively expelled...
Due to public outcry, “Baby It’s Cold Outside” has been replaced with, “DaM, Bit¢h It B FreeZin!”
Many activist groups have targeted the popular winter classic "Baby It's Cold Outside" as an artifact of rape culture, citing...
BREAKING: White House Christmas tree falls down to be closer to Joe Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—In a heartwarming display of holiday spirit, the White House Christmas tree took a graceful tumble, making a bold...
Conor McGregor launches snake removal service in Ireland
DUBLIN—In a move that left the Irish countryside both bewildered and entertained, MMA legend Connor McGregor has expanded his repertoire...
Subway hires Megan Rapinoe as Sandwich Artist after retiring from soccer
In an unexpected turn of events, soccer sensation Megan Rapinoe has found a new calling after what some are calling...
BREAKING: Palestinians promise that 10% of the released hostages will go to the ‘Big Guy’
In a perplexing twist of international diplomacy, Palestinian leaders have assured President Joe Biden that, as part of their gratitude...
Notre Dame changes mascot to Fighting Right-Wing Extremists following Dublin riots
SOUTH BEND, IN—In an unexpected turn of events that left the university community bewildered and perhaps a tad nervous, University...
