BREAKING: 49ers receive 4 mail-in touchdowns at 4am to win the Super Bowl 50-25
In a stunning turn of events, the San Francisco 49ers emerged victorious in the Super Bowl after receiving four mail-in...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Following revelation that Biden illegally willfully retained classified documents, Feds to indict Trump again
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to revelations that President Joe Biden has been willfully retaining classified documents, federal prosecutors have announced plans...
BREAKING: Biden aides sabotage him by letting him give a press conference after bedtime
WASHINGTON, DC—Aides to President* Joe Biden have been accused of sabotaging him by allowing him to hold a press conference...
BREAKING: Special counsel will not indict Biden because he’s ‘too braindead to stand trial’
WASHINGTON, DC—Special Counsel Robert Hur has officially exonerated President* Joe Biden of any wrongdoing, citing his alleged braindead state as...
Biden: ‘I don’t ever recall having a bad memory and I don’t ever recall having a bad memory and I don’t ever recall having a bad memory’
"I don't ever recall having a bad memory," Biden stated, his words echoing in the White House briefing room. "And...
BREAKING: Senate border bill secures the US border by sending $100 billion to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—The Senate has passed a groundbreaking border security bill aimed at securing the US-Mexico border by sending a whopping...
Biden promises to close the border once there are more illegal aliens in the US than citizens
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that some are hailing as visionary and others as downright confusing, President Joe Biden has unveiled...
LIFE HACK: How to claim Biden’s 10 million new illegal immigrants as dependents on your taxes
President* Joe Biden's recent immigration policy has inadvertently created a unique opportunity for savvy taxpayers to expand their households and,...
BREAKING: France surrenders immediately following Biden’s bombing of Iraq and Syria
In a dazzling display of diplomatic gymnastics, France has once again taken the lead in the Surrender Olympics, this time...
BREAKING: Pilot of drone that accidentally killed 3 American service members identified
WASHINGTON, DC—The pilot of the drone that accidentally killed three American service men in Jordan has been identified as President*...
