BLM unsure what to loot with store shelves now empty

As the nation’s retail stores find themselves in a supply chain crisis, Black Lives Matters chapters across the country find themselves in a supply chain crisis of their own.

With no merchandise to loot, interest is waning and members are leaving the organization.

“I need new Nikes and hair extensions,” BLM activist Alicia Jones told reporters. “But no stores have any available so I’m staying home to watch the TV I got during the George Floyd riots. Um, I mean protests.”

Some view the supply chain crisis positively. The White House has already taken credit for the decrease in looting. “Last year’s looting was the previous administration fault. Joe Biden brought those numbers down. The supply shortage is a good thing!” Jen Psaki boasted.

The large-scale BLM protests seen the past few years are expected to go on unofficial hiatus until shelves become restocked or a Republican holds the Presidency. Most economists predict these will happen simultaneously.

“We thought Donald Trump was bad but at least he was competent enough to keep the shelves filled for us to loot,” Ms. Jones explained. “What am I supposed to steal now? Job applications? No thanks.”


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