WASHINGTON, DC—An anonymous insider source has confirmed that former President Donald Trump is actively selling US nuclear codes to his email list as part of his 2024 presidential campaign.

The source, whose pronouns are they/them, said that Trump has raised over $2,000,000 selling the codes to random donors through his website.

The source refused to be identified or give any proof that that the accusations are true, but we believe them.

“This is incredibly unethical and really dangerous,” the source said on condition of adamschifelry. “Trump must be arrested immediately and thrown in jail before he discovers who accused him of this.”

The FBI recently raided Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home in order to find something to raid him about.

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