WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has phoned Mitt Romney, the outgoing Republican senator from Utah, to concede defeat in the 2024 presidential election despite neither of them being on the ballot. This shocking move has sent shockwaves through the political world, leaving many to wonder if Biden has finally lost his mind or if he is simply struggling to keep up with the rapidly changing political landscape. 

During a press conference, Biden explained that he felt it was necessary to call Romney to concede defeat in order to maintain the integrity of the democratic process and ensure a peaceful transfer of power. He argued that by acknowledging Romney’s win, he was setting a positive example for future elections and demonstrating his commitment to American values. 

“This is a difficult decision, but one that I feel is necessary for the sake of our nation,” said Biden. “By calling Mitt Romney to concede defeat, I hope to send a message to all Americans that we must respect the will of the people and accept the results of our elections, no matter how disappointing they may be.” 

The reaction to Biden’s announcement has been mixed, with some expressing support for his decision, regardless of whether it has any impact on the election, while others have laughed it off as yet another example of political confusion. Social media has been abuzz with memes and jokes mocking Biden’s stance, with many users pointing out the mental decline of the sitting president*. 

As the nation continues to grapple with this latest development, it remains to be seen how Biden’s decision will impact the political landscape.

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Jeremy Spoken

None of the snowflakes in an avalanche feels responsible.

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