BREAKING: Biden makes campaign stop at Delaware cemetery
In a bold move that defies all traditional campaign strategies, President Joe Biden has been spotted hitting the campaign trail in a location that’s truly out of this world – the Delaware cemetery. That’s right, forget about crowded town halls and enthusiastic supporters; Biden is taking his message to the great beyond, where the dearly departed are the most captive audience he can find.
With a nod to the undead, the President delivered a rousing speech that left tombstones trembling with excitement. “Folks, we’re here today to honor those who’ve passed on and… wait, where am I again?” Biden began, momentarily forgetting his exact location before being gently reminded by a staffer.
As he continued his address, the President seemed to be channeling some spectral energy, making promises that may have resonated with the dearly departed. “If you vote for me, I’ll ensure that Social Security benefits will last for generations to come, even for those who’ve long moved on to the other side,” he proclaimed, receiving a collective, albeit silent, nod of approval from the cemetery residents.
One enthusiastic supporter – a weathered gravestone dating back to the 1800s – even sported a “Biden-Harris” sticker, proudly showing its undead allegiance. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for centuries!” it seemed to say.
Of course, not everyone was thrilled with the President’s unconventional campaign strategy. Critics accused him of pandering to a demographic that’s… well, no longer around to vote. “Is this what it’s come to? Campaigning in cemeteries?” asked one skeptical observer. “I mean, it is where a majority of his voters are so I guess it makes sense.”
But the Biden team remains undeterred, seeing the cemetery campaign as an opportunity to connect with voters on a different plane – or in this case, a different plane of existence. “We believe in reaching out to all Americans, even those who may have crossed over,” said one campaign strategist, with a wink that hinted at the undead demographic’s potential electoral influence.
As the President continued his eerie campaign tour, he couldn’t help but reflect on the momentous occasion. “This is history in the making, folks. We’re not just campaigning, we’re making history in… where are we again?” he quipped, with a sense of déjà vu that only seemed fitting in the company of the dearly departed.
So, whether you believe in the afterlife or not, one thing’s for sure: Joe Biden’s campaign is anything but your typical run-of-the-mill political endeavor. As he presses on, it’s clear that he’s determined to make his mark – even if it’s in the most unexpected of places. And who knows? Maybe the dearly departed will have a say in the outcome after all. Only time will tell if the cemetery tour pays off in the land of the living.
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