WASHINGTON, DC—Following another school shooting in which the alleged perpetrator violated several laws on his way to killing 19 people, Congress has promised to pass a new gun control law to make people obey the current gun control laws.

“Clearly, laws work but we just need psychopathic criminals to follow the laws,” Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said. “We are going to pass a new law making those individuals follow the old laws.”

In an address to the nation, President* Biden said that gun control laws work but that we just need to get people to stop breaking them.

“In 1992 passed a law that made school zones gun-free and that worked perfectly. No law-abiding citizens brought guns to school after that. We just need to get the criminals to stop bringing guns to schools to kill people,” Biden said.

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