BREAKING: Dead rabid fox who bit Democrats surges to lead in 2024 presidential poll

WASHINGTON, DC—The mother fox that bit at least nine Democrats near the U.S. Capitol and was euthanized shortly after has surged to the lead in 2024 presidential polls, according to Pew Pew Institute.

“We’ve never before seen such popularity for a candidate ever, not to mention a candidate that isn’t a traditional human,” Pew Pew Director Ed McMahon said.

Authorities have found and captured her kits, officials told NBC News. DC Health said the fox was “humanely euthanized so that rabies testing may be done,” according to a tweet from NBC News’ Frank Thorp on Wednesday afternoon.

If elected, the fox would be the first dead, non-human elected president of the United States.

“From our data, it really looks like Brandon could have his pick of countries to rule as he is popular everywhere,” McMahon said.

“It seems that people are tired of the status quo and of people playing politics. They really want a president who will sink her teeth into the opposition party, literally,” McMahon added.


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