WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats across the nation have expressed outrage after a video surfaced of Rep. Anna Paulina Luna (R-FL) modeling a “Make America Great Again” swimsuit.

“How dare she!” exclaimed one outraged Democratic strategist, Hugh Janus. “I mean, she so feminine. She really makes our women, who tend to have substantial brow lines, Adam’s apples, and big hairy balls, look, well, downright manly.”

“Let’s be real—how are we supposed to compete with that?” fumed one Democratic strategist. “It’s hard enough running against Republicans without having to deal with someone who looks like they just stepped off a runway. This isn’t just about politics; it’s about basic fairness!”

The Democrats’ push to expel Luna has gained surprising momentum, with several prominent party members arguing that her undeniable hotness constitutes an “unfair advantage” and “a distraction from the serious work of governing.”

“It’s one thing to be a member of Congress, but it’s another to be so attractive that you become a distraction,” said a Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez. “I’m supposed to be the hottest. And I got nothing on this chick.”

In a hastily arranged press conference, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries expressed his concern over Luna’s impact on the Capitol. “We have been making progress with passing off our men as women, but this is going to ruin everything. How can we pull the wool over anymore?”

The motion to expel Luna has sparked a heated debate, with some Democrats arguing that her attractiveness is “weaponized” by the Republican Party to distract from real issues. “It’s like they’re using her beauty as a political tool,” said one liberal pundit. “We’re talking about election integrity, healthcare, and climate change, and meanwhile, everyone’s just staring at Rep. Luna. It’s completely unfair!”

Republicans have predictably dismissed the move as “absurd” and “sexist,” with many pointing out the hypocrisy of the left’s newfound obsession with appearances. “So now being attractive is a crime?” scoffed one GOP lawmaker. “It’s just another example of Democrats trying to silence strong conservative voices—this time, by turning beauty into a liability.”

Despite the outrage from the left, Luna herself has taken the controversy in stride. “I’m proud to represent my constituents and my values,” she said in a statement. “If being attractive is the worst thing they can accuse me of, then I guess I’m doing something right.”

As the debate rages on, the House is expected to vote on the motion to expel Luna next week. In the meantime, political analysts are left scratching their heads at the absurdity of the situation.

“This is a new low, even for Washington,” said one commentator. “But I suppose we should have seen it coming. When politics becomes more about appearances than principles, it was only a matter of time before someone got expelled for being too good-looking.”

About Author