ATLANTA—Fulton County District Attorney “Big” Fani Willis has decided to take decisive action against what she perceives as a grave threat to democracy. In a sweeping move, she has chosen to indict a staggering 75 million Americans for allegedly overthrowing democracy by voting for Donald Trump in the 2020 presidential election.
The move has left legal experts, political analysts, and pretty much everyone else scratching their heads. It’s no secret that the 2020 election was a contentious one, with accusations of voter fraud and irregularities flying from both sides of the political spectrum. But few could have predicted that casting a vote would now be considered an act of sedition.
DA Willis held a press conference to announce the indictments, stating, “We must protect our democracy from those who would dare to participate in the democratic process. Voting for a candidate we disagree with is tantamount to an insurrection, and we will not stand for it.”
The indictments, which include charges of “Democratic Dissent” and “Ballot Box Treason,” carry severe penalties, including mandatory attendance at “Reeducation Camps” where offenders will be subjected to endless PowerPoint presentations on the importance of consensus politics.
Reaction to the indictments has been swift and varied. Some are applauding DA Willis for her bold stance against those who voted for Trump, while others are questioning the sanity of such a move.
One prominent legal scholar commented, “I never thought I’d see the day when casting a vote would be considered a criminal act. It’s a brave new world we’re living in.”
Political satirists, on the other hand, are gleefully preparing their material for what promises to be a ludicrous trial of epic proportions. The defense is expected to argue that millions of Americans were simply exercising their constitutional right to vote, a novel concept in these trying times.
As the legal battle unfolds, one thing is for certain: the United States justice system will be put to the test as it attempts to answer the question, “Can voting be a crime?”