KENOSHA, WI—A career suicide turned in a career murder when Kyle Rittenhouse took the stand to defend himself.

After a week of sabotaging the prosecution by supporting the defendant’s case, Assistant DA Thomas Binger’s career was put out of its misery by the defendant’s testimony. Binger’s constitutional violations, scoldings and inability to prevent Kyle from looking like a total chad all led to his painful demise.

The death was captured live on television. Kyle was immediately charged and convicted of murdering Binger’s legal career. Binger is expected to become a legal analyst on CNN.

Despite the rocky relationship between the two, Kyle gave Mr. Binger a free education on gun laws on and firearms.

The other prosecutor’s career was injured but will survive despite attacking Kyle first.

Genesius Times has uncovered exclusive video of the exact moment when Binger’s career was pronounced dead:

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Richie Richards

Very stable genius, Richie Richards, is a writer, illustrator and fake news journalist. Check out Bowie Bee Learns About Democracy, the latest in his Bowie Bee children’s series.

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