BREAKING: Republican Mike Johnson early favorite to win “Democrat of the Year” for 2024
In an unexpected twist, Republican Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is being hailed as the early frontrunner for the prestigious “Democrat of the Year” award for 2024. Democrats across the aisle are positively giddy over Johnson’s uncanny ability to promote their agenda while keeping a straight face as a conservative.
“Mike did a fantastic job of keeping our border open while fully funding our priorities,” said a top Democratic lawmaker, beaming with pride. “And the way he skillfully dodged that pesky SAVE America Act? Chef’s kiss. He’s a natural!”
Party insiders have even joked about how Johnson is making it hard for them to maintain any semblance of opposition, with some secretly wondering if he’s not so much a Republican but a deep-cover operative sent to infiltrate the GOP from within. One Democratic strategist admitted, “Honestly, at this point, he’s doing our job better than we are.”
In Washington, Republicans are scrambling to figure out how Johnson became their leader while simultaneously becoming the best thing to happen to Democrats since the invention of identity politics.
Rumors are swirling that Johnson may even be invited to next year’s Democratic National Convention as a keynote speaker. “He’s earned it,” said a senior DNC official. “We haven’t seen this kind of bipartisanship since Mitt Romney’s tenure as a senator.”
With accomplishments like voting for bloated government budgets, avoiding conservative principles, and gently nudging border security off the cliff, Johnson seems poised to clinch the coveted “Democrat of the Year” trophy. He’s already planning his acceptance speech, where he’s expected to thank the GOP for letting him “bring about real change” while making sure the conservative base stays asleep at the wheel.
“Who would’ve thought a Republican could do so much for the Democrats? 2024 is looking bright,” laughed a jubilant Democrat lawmaker.
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