WASHINGTON, DC—In the case of The Constitution v. Itself, the Supreme Court ruled that the Constitution is constitutional. “We were trying to determine the constitutionality of the Constitution,” Chief Justice Roberts said. “We dug deep into our nation’s history and discovered that the states followed the ratification procedure outlined in Article 7 of the Constitution, which means that the Constitution is constitutional.”

The decision was 5-4, with the four liberal justices dissenting because they’ve never heard of the Constitution before.

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Rafi Metz

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