MEXICO CITY—The world is shocked and horrified as an actually beautiful woman has won the Miss Universe beauty pageant.

Victoria Kjær Theilvig of Denmark has been crowned the new Miss Universe, despite losing the “Big Hairy Lady Balls Protruding Swimsuit” competition, leaving the world in a state of disbelief and the contestants utterly stunned. This unprecedented development has sent shockwaves through the pageant world.

During the highly anticipated final round, the remaining contenders vied for the coveted title, showcasing their intelligence, poise, and beauty. However, it was the stunning newcomer, Victoria Kjær Theilvig, who emerged as the clear winner, leaving her fellow contestants and the audience in a state of shock. 

“I never thought I would see the day when a truly beautiful actual woman without a penis would win Miss Universe,” said one contestant, visibly shaken by the unexpected outcome. “I thought for sure it would be another pageant veteran or someone with a unique talent, but Victoria just blew us all away.” 

The judges defended their decision, stating that they were impressed by Victoria’s natural beauty, poise, and intelligence, which set her apart from the other contestants. 

“We made a conscious decision to choose a contestant who truly embodies the essence of Miss Universe,” said one judge. “Victoria’s beauty is not just skin deep; she has a kind heart and a brilliant mind. We believe she will be an excellent ambassador for our organization.” 

The reaction to Victoria’s win has been mixed, with some expressing support for the judges’ decision to choose a stunning winner from Denmark, while others have laughed it off as yet another example of political correctness gone too far. Social media has been abuzz with memes and jokes mocking the pageant world’s shock at having a beautiful winner from Denmark, with many users pointing out the irony of a competition designed to showcase beauty ending up with a stunning contestant. 

As the nation continues to grapple with this latest development, it remains to be seen how Victoria’s win will impact the future of the Miss Universe pageant. One thing is certain, though: the actual beauty of the winner has quickly become the talk of the town, and not in a way they likely intended.

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