For hours, congressional Democrats wore frowny faces and tortured scowls as they listened to President Donald Trump promote horrific things like, “a culture that cherishes innocent life,” and fighting sex trafficking.

“I felt like I was being bombarded by Nazi bombs,” rising star Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said. “I’ve said that climate change will be our World War II, but maybe just sitting through the State of the Union will be instead.”

Grimacing at concepts such as unity, scientific advance, and the highest quality of life the world has ever seen, Democrats were glad they made it through the ordeal.

When Trump mentioned we were never going to be like the starving socialist Venezuelans, Senator Bernie Sanders was seen with literal steam coming off his head.

“I feel like I have PTSD from all the winning in that speech,” Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said.

Senator Chuck Schumer was seen having what appeared to be an epileptic seizure when Trump spoke of saving innocent human lives.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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