Washington, D.C. – In what can only be described as the most unexpected audit in history, Elon Musk’s newly established Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has unearthed a group of Social Security recipients over 110 years old. Democrats are now claiming these ancient voters not only exist but also cast their ballots for Joe Biden in the last election.

The revelation came when DOGE, tasked with optimizing government bureaucracy, decided to delve into the Social Security records. “We were just looking to streamline some processes,” Musk explained in a tweet, “but we found something that could change the narrative on voter turnout.”

Senator Chuck Schumer, quick to capitalize on the discovery, stated, “These venerable citizens, unearthed by Musk’s efficiency drive, have proven their loyalty to democracy by supporting Biden from their century-old rocking chairs.”

The revelation has left many scratching their heads. “I didn’t expect government efficiency to lead to electoral surprises,” commented a bemused Republican analyst. “Next, they’ll tell us these folks are also running for office.”

The Social Security Administration, now in the spotlight, issued a statement that only added to the confusion: “We can confirm these individuals are in our records, but whether they’re voting via time machine or sheer determination, we’ll leave that to Musk’s DOGE to figure out.”

Election offices across the country are now inundated with curious inquiries from citizens, wondering if their ancestors, thought long gone, are part of this hidden voting demographic. “I always thought my great-great-grandpa was just a family legend,” said one astonished voter. “Turns out, he’s been quietly shaping our political landscape.”

The political ramifications are immense. Analysts are contemplating if future campaigns will need to target the “Century Club” with policy proposals like “Free Hoveround for All Voters Over 100.”

In response, the Democratic Party has launched the “DOGE Voter Drive,” promoting civic duty among the elderly with slogans like “Vote Like Time Never Passed.” Images of centenarians, unearthed by DOGE’s efficiency, proudly displaying “I Voted” stickers have become the new face of voter engagement.

Skeptics questioning the plausibility of these claims have been met with a straightforward response from Democrats: “If Musk’s DOGE can find them, they must be out there, still influencing our elections.”

As DOGE continues its mission to streamline government operations, one can only wonder what other historical figures or anomalies might be discovered in the name of efficiency.

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