DHS hiring unemployed Antifa activists for new fascist Thought Police brigade

WASHINGTON, DC—Nothing says “anti-fascism” quite like enforcing the disinformation policy of the government. That’s what thousands of newly employed Antifa activists have decided after being employed by President* Joe Biden’s Disinformation Governance Board.

“I hadn’t been paid for, like, a real job since I got my Soros check for protesting and smashing up various cities across the country in 2020,” Portland Antifa President Winkie McLittledick said. “Now I really feel like I have an anti-fascist purpose, you know, to make sure people’s thoughts are in line with the federal government.”

The activists, who fought tirelessly in 2020 to bring down the system will now be making sure everyone obeys every dictate of the system by thought crime enforcement.

“I always thought, you know, like all cops are bastards. That’s what ACAB means,” McLittledick said. “But that’s before I, like, became a cop myself. Now I love cops—at least cops that are fighting disinformation.”

Biden said that it has been a great jobs program.

“We looked at it and said, we have this group of folks not doing anything; living in their parents’ basement. And we said, why not give them billions of taxpayer money to do something good for the government?” Biden said through his translator.

“We’re calling them the National Socialist Thought Police, which I think has a nice ring to it. That way people can think they’re anti-fascist when they’re really fascist,” Biden added.

close

"Excuse me, has this joke been fact-checked?"

Bypass Zuck and his minions and receive hilarious "unauthorized" satire to your inbox, every day.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.