Biden orders all creepy Easter Bunnies to be replaced with himself

WASHINGTON, DC—During the chaos caused by Farrakhan supporter Noah Green at the US Capitol last year, Joe Biden’s handlers lost track of the Senile Chinese puppet, resulting in another executive order. Biden issued the executive order 666 which makes several changes to the Easter Holiday. The changes are mentioned below.

  1. A double secret probation mask mandate has been issued for all 57 states
  2. A statue of the Goddess Ishtar must be present in all churches in compliance with the no cultural appropriation act that will be passed later on. Even though there isn’t a real connection between the two holidays, it appears to be and that’s what matters
  3. All Easter Eggs must now be black or brown and must be given a 5 star hotel upon being found to teach children about immigration
  4. Only Monsanto approved synthetic food products are allowed
  5. The creepy Easter Bunny will be replaced by the Creepy Joe Biden in all Easter celebrations
  6. George Floyd, Michael Brown, or some other BLM approved martyr of wokeism must mention at least 10 times for every mention of Jesus Christ
  7. Everyone must get all COVID vaccines and must have their vaccine passport tattooed upon their hand or forehead
  8. At least 1 person for every 10 must have transgender surgery and chemical alterations
  9. All Easter events must be approved by the EPA, IRS, DHS, the US and State Chambers of Commerce
  10. All spending on Easter celebrations is subject to a 50% tax
  11. The states that have passed sovereignty bills are both exempt from the Biden Executive Order but will not be invited to the Washington DC ANTIFA BLM sponsored George Floyd Riots coming up in a few months

Originally published April 3, 2021


About Author


You made it through the woke censors to see this post. Sign up below to get more funny directly to your inbox!

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.