Well, nobody expected this twist. After suffering through years of Facebook fueled viral movements, one small government in East Texas has decided they have had enough.
Lufkin Texas, home of the first ‘Blue Bell licking’ incident called up the Bishop of Tyler in a last ditch effort to “nip this contagion in the bud.” After receiving a green light from the local Bishop, Lufkin’s mayor was piped straight in line to the Vatican.
It turns out, despite Pope Francis’ consistent message of mercy even he has a hard line on what should be tolerated in polite society. That line, evidently is licking the top of a gallon of ice cream and sticking it back in the grocery store freezer. Pope Francis has re-opened the office of the Spanish Inquisition specifically to combat this reprobate movement.
The first step of the Inquisition will be to consider cases brought forth by the city. If a perpetrator is found guilty then the tribunal will decide what kind of punishment fits the crime. The Grand inquisitor suggested burning at the stake for repeat offenders, and a night in the old Iron Maiden for first timers.
God Speed to them.