After a dismal debate performance in which Pennsylvania Senate candidate Jon Fetterman made a half-hearted attempt to sway voters with support for fracking, he has gone all in by replacing his “I hate fracking” tattoo with one that says “I do support fracking. I don’t—I don’t—and I stand. I ❤️ Fracking”.

“I am fracking—good—Washington. Release uh felons. Unga uh bunga,” Fetterman said through a translator.

The change in tattoos is sure to bring in several new voters who cannot think for themselves.

“I believe anything the man says. If you don’t then you’re just an ableist!” Fetterman supporter Mike Roe Cephally said.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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