General Mills says Lucky Charms ‘contaminant’ is actually 100% organic Leprechaun feces

MINNEAPOLIS—General Mills, the makers of the ‘Lucky Charms’ cereal, are reassuring their customers that the blame for any contamination of their popular kids breakfast cereal falls to a couple of disgruntled Leprechauns working the marshmallow line.

Leprechaun employees have issued a rebuttal saying that the company was threatening a lockout if the ‘wee little ones’ went on strike, and so the company management slipped some Leprechaun feces in the cereal to slander them.

They went on to say that Leprechaun feces is chock full of vitamins and magical goodness.

The General Mills spokesman agreed that the contamination is harmless as long as you believe in Leprechauns, however, if you don’t, it will probably kill you.


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