Harris/Biden campaign releases substitute list for Joe Biden for next debate

You can suggest your own substitutes for Sleepy Joe in the comments below

After not quite defeating Donald J Trump in the debate Tuesday with the help of Mike Wallace’s wannabe journalist son, the Harris and sometimes Biden strategy team have decided to have some backup debate substitutes in case Joe Biden is not able to attend the next debate (which would only be if Russian agents working for Orange Man infected sleepy Joe with the COVID-19 virus). Below is a list of debate replacements for Democratic Presidential Nominee Joe Biden.

  1. Chris Wallace

After asking every other question during the first Presidential Debate with at least one leftist template, and supporting other leftist agendas over the years such as amnesty, the Fox News “journalist” can easily take the place of Sleepy Joe. Wallace might be able to get some more Mitt Romney/Cindy McCain style public Nevertrumpers to support the democrat party, and maybe even get some secret private Nevertrumpers like Karl Rove and Asa Hutchinson to come out of the RINO closet.

2. Hunter Biden

You can’t ask the question where’s Hunter if Hunter is right there! In regards to making money, Hunter can brag about the millions he made in Ukraine and China! It is rumored that he has also helped some businesses in Columbia. Hunter has relatives in the southern part of the USA as well, so he might get some votes that way. The campaign just needs to make sure the green room has mirrored tables.

  1. Momentum Cat

The Russian antimatter genetically modified meta cat has already effected politics before regarding an NFL game. The feline is able to draw much larger crowds than Harris or Biden combined. Momentum Cat can’t speak either, which puts him far ahead of Biden in terms of articulating ideas. There is a danger that Momentum Cat could take over the USA and abandon the communist party that gave him his powers, but legalized Catnip and 20 hour nap days until the economy collapses are a far better alternative to Orange Man’s accomplishments.

  1. Any Triggered SJW/ANTIFA thug

Just screaming a chant for 90 minutes seems to impress the media, so why not have it here. They could then burn down and loot the debate location. No harm will come to the democrat party since ANTIFA is “just an idea”
Everyone will also be safe from the Socialist Sniffles because politicians said so. Speaking of which…

  1. The CCP Virus

Biden already has great globalist relations with the Communist Regime that made the Commie Cough, so it’s likely the virus will speak positive of the democrat over the President who fought against trade with the CCP. According to science, the virus is smart enough to attack churches and Trump rallies so its sense of awareness is already better than Sleepy Joe.

  1. George Soros

He’s rich, just like Donald Trump! ANTIFA won’t mind that he was a NAZI collaborator since he now funds communist revolts all over the world! Birthplace no longer matters since The US Constitution isn’t taught anymore. Bonus points for the fact that any TV Moderator, including any from Fox News, will not allow Trump to say his name!