HARVARD, MA—In a stunning and brave move that has left academics and students alike scratching their heads, Harvard University has redefined the concept of plagiarism. The prestigious institution now asserts that any work deemed to be “stolen” will not be considered plagiarism as long as it’s pilfered by someone other than their first black president, Claudine Gay. The change, hailed as a beacon of inclusivity, has already sparked widespread discussion about the evolving nature of academic integrity.

“We believe in a diverse and inclusive definition of plagiarism,” stated Harvard’s Provost, Dr. Ivory Quillington, during a press conference held in a hallowed hall lined with oak bookshelves and existential dread.

The policy shift, fondly nicknamed the “Obama Exception” by students, has created a stir in academic circles. Some argue that it’s a commendable effort to acknowledge the unique status of Harvard’s first black president, while others question the potential erosion of the very principles that underpin academic honesty.

“We wanted to ensure our commitment to diversity extended beyond the student body and faculty to include the work itself,” explained Dr. Quillington, pausing dramatically before adding, “as long as it wasn’t the work of our beloved first black president. And I mean, her last name is Gay, so clearly she can’t plagiarize anything.”

Critics have raised concerns about the potential for confusion, wondering whether students might now attempt to justify their own indiscretions by invoking the Harvard Exception. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to borrow a paragraph or two from someone if Harvard says it’s okay, right?” mused one skeptical professor.

Harvard’s decision has also triggered discussions about the potential application of similar exceptions in other areas of life. “Perhaps we can apply this concept to other aspects of society, like traffic violations or tax evasion. It’s a brave new world,” quipped a student majoring in Political Satire.

As the academic world grapples with the implications of Harvard’s unique stance on plagiarism, one thing is certain – the definition of academic integrity at the institution has taken a turn that even the most seasoned scholars might find, dare we say, borrowed from a different playbook.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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