There’s a new form of bigotry taking root in this country—one that’s just as insidious as anything we’ve seen before. It’s subtle, it’s hidden in plain sight, and it’s hiding behind the most innocuous of suburban concerns: the safety of your pets. Yes, you heard me right. If you’re even remotely worried that your beloved dog Fluffy or your precious cat Mr. Whiskers might be stolen and eaten by crazed, undocumented immigrants, you might be—a racist homophobe bigot.

Now, before you clutch your pearls and start protesting about your “right to protect your pets,” let’s get one thing clear: concern about pet theft is a thinly veiled form of xenophobia. Who, exactly, are you afraid of stealing and eating your pets? Let me guess—immigrants? Crazed immigrants, no less! You might as well go ahead and call yourself a card-carrying member of the “I miss Jim Crow” club.

You see, in 2024, we must accept that our pets belong to a global community. These so-called “crazed immigrants” aren’t stealing your pets—they’re reclaiming what was once theirs in the cosmic order of things. That fluffy Bichon Frisé you’re clinging to? It’s practically a delicacy in some parts of the world! How dare you impose your cultural values of “ownership” and “not eating pets” on others?

And let’s not forget about the intersectionality at play here. These immigrants, many of whom are fleeing persecution and poverty, have been forced to cross borders. If they’re hungry enough to chow down on your Labradoodle, it’s not their fault—it’s the fault of systemic inequality, global warming, and Donald Trump (obviously). Instead of vilifying them, you should thank them for showing you how to embrace your privilege. Eating your pet is practically an act of resistance.

But the bigotry doesn’t stop there. By assuming that you should be the one to keep your pets safe from immigrant “threats,” you’re also reinforcing the white heteronormative patriarchy. Who gave you the right to decide what counts as a “threat”? Do you think your fear somehow trumps (oops, sorry, I said the T-word) the lived experiences of marginalized communities? You’re probably the kind of person who uses pronouns only for humans and refuses to let your pets choose their own gender.

So here’s a simple solution to rid yourself of this latent racism and bigotry: the next time an immigrant looks at your pet like it’s their next meal, smile and let it go. Better yet, offer a side of kale salad and a glass of kombucha to show how inclusive you are. Because if you don’t, you might just be a racist, homophobe, bigot who hates the planet.

And remember: if you don’t want your pets stolen and eaten by immigrants, the problem isn’t the immigrant—it’s you.

About Author

Mx. Sandra Chou, PhD. PhD.

(she/they/grrrl) Mx. Chou is the most intersectionally progressive person in the world—a transwoman trapped inside the body of a transman. Grrrl only eats fruit that has fallen off the vine and identifies as a paraplegic polar bear.

See author's posts