Despite protests by the #metoo movement of illegal aliens holed up in Area 51, presidential hopeful and serial hair-sniffer Joe Biden has promised to take a trip to the area to “spread compassion” to the illegal aliens.

“Even if they don’t quite look like us or eat the same kinds of food or have five fingers on each hand, they’re people too and deserve a hair sniff as much as the next prepubescent girl.”

The Area 51 raid is set for September 20th and is gaining steam across the country so that people can “see them aliens”.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was horrified to find that the United States had imprisoned these illegal aliens for decades in horrible conditions.

“They have games to play and brains to melt, but they’re basically living in cages. It wasn’t their fault that their spaceship crashed down where it did. They don’t want to be here!”

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Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

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