In a groundbreaking moment of presidential prowess, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow lauded President* Biden for his extraordinary commitment to not checking his wristwatch during the solemn ceremony at Dover Air Force Base for the returning fallen soldiers.

“Let me tell you, folks, this is a level of restraint we’ve never seen before,” Maddow exclaimed, her eyes brimming with admiration. “While lesser minds might be tempted to sneak a peek at the time during such a crucial moment, Biden remained resolute. He’s rewriting the rules of etiquette, one watchless ceremony at a time.”

The MAGA extremists had, predictably, alleged that Biden’s wristwatch had become a symbol of indifference during the dignified event. However, Maddow swiftly debunked these claims, attributing the watch glances to an unexpected case of crystal smudging.

“His commitment to not checking the time was unparalleled,” Maddow continued, “It’s not that he didn’t care; it’s that he cares so much that he didn’t want to be distracted by the ticking hands of a timepiece.”

Maddow’s long-time personal assistant, Carpetta Munscher, chimed in, revealing the behind-the-scenes intricacies. “You see, folks, his watch was practically begging for attention. But it wasn’t a lack of empathy; it was a horological miscommunication. That’s why he kept glancing at my watch, which was, of course, spotless and ready for any impromptu time checks.”

As the nation grapples with this newfound appreciation for presidential chronometry, it seems Biden’s wristwatch, or lack thereof, has become an unwitting symbol of executive focus. After all, who needs to check the time when you’re too busy leading the free world?

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