Special Counsel Robert Mueller, while announcing his resignation, declared that President Trump had “obstructed justice by not doing what he was accused of doing.”

Mueller’s team “did not make a determination,” being bound by Justice Department guidelines that prevent a sitting president from being charged with a crime. “If we had had confidence that the president clearly didn’t not commit a crime,” he said, “we wouldn’t have not said so.”

“Therefore, you can conclude that President Trump didn’t not obstruct justice by not doing what we thought he didn’t not do,” Mueller added.

Many have taken this to mean that Trump is guilty and have demanded impeachment proceedings.

“If he was just guilty of collusion or wire fraud or anything, then we could’ve gone about our jobs and indicted someone, but there was none of that so we couldn’t nab anyone!” Mueller said, clearly stressed.

The Mueller report cost taxpayers millions of dollars and has given readers a clear chance for confirmation bias. Everyone now believes exactly what they believed before the report.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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