Nation’s liberals all jump off cliff after experts say it reduces risk of catching COVID

Well the experts done done it (again). First they said the virus was not highly contagious, then they said it was but there’s no reason to shut down borders or cancel international travel. Then they said masks aren’t helpful, then they decided masks are very helpful and if you don’t wear one you can go to jail. Then they said millions would die, then it was hundreds of thousands, and then it was tens of thousands. Then beaches were the hotbeds of COVID infestation—no wait subways were—never mind, being outdoors is where the COVID gets you—strike that, it’s most viral indoors. Then they said hydroxychloroquine was good—then bad—then good again ad infinitum. Now they’ve come around to a permanent inoculate for COVID-19, and this great nation’s liberals are listening!

Doctor Anthony Fauci, after expressing clear frustration with some hard hitting journalists, suggested that if they don’t stop asking him tough questions he would provide a very permanent solution in the war against Covid 19. In the same press conference, after one particular scrappy journalist from Genesius Times kept pushing for answers on why so much expert advice had so often flipped on a dime, Dr. Fauci told him to take a maintenance dosage of jumping off a cliff and to let him know how it works. And within hours, 2/3 of the white suburban democrat demographic had taken a leap against the coronavirus—right off a cliff. Of course, this caused the Corona death toll to sky rocket, as 50 million and counting highly committed blue voters leapt to their doom.

The upside, for the first time in American history there is peace and harmony from sea to shining sea. All the intersectional feminists, the non binary trannies, the PHD’s in gender studies, a whole flock of Karens, and pretty much all of Silicone valley trusted the experts all the way to their doom, and nobody really argues anymore. Now, with all this peace and harmony I’m starting to ask myself if maybe it’s not time for me to take the Fauci leap?


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