Newborns identifying as undocumented immigrants to not be infanticided by Democrats

Democrats recently rejected a bill that would save babies who were able to make it through a botched abortion, basically allowing for infanticide. The innocent little human newborns are fighting back, identifying as the sacred cow of liberal politics: the undocumented immigrant.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo said in a statement, “We must protect the lives of children of immigrants and at the same time, kill the newborn Americans.”

Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi condemned President Trump’s push for a border wall saying, “Everyone deserves the right to life, as long as they wear a sombrero and have darker skin than I do.”

Billy Jones, a newborn who survived an abortion in Albany, New York said that he feels offended that Democratic legislators don’t acknowledge his right to life. “Fine, I can eat tacos and listen to Ranchero music. I’m Mexican! Can I live now?”

And the fact that these newborns aren’t really undocumented immigrants from Central America doesn’t matter because, as we all know, it’s how you identify that matters.

“Call me Juan,” Billy continued. “I’m Juan in a million!”

Some Virginian fetuses are even identifying as cankerworms, as Democrat Kathy Tran has introduced a bill to preserve the life of cankerworms and caterpillars the same day she defended her bill to allow newborn human babies to die.