NOAA: ‘July 2019 imaginary temperatures were the hottest ever’

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) has released important information, confirming that July 2019 was the hottest month ever in their imagination.

“The actual data was inconclusive,” NOAA Director of Climatology Frank Fauxin said, “so we added a bunch of fake data where there was none and voila, it was suddenly the hottest month on record! Amazing how that works, huh?”

NOAA is the preeminent administrative body in charge of imaginary climate data, a status that they hold in high esteem.

“We take our fake data very serious,” Fauxin said. “And you should too.”

News outlets from all over the world ran with the data instilling fear in people and prompting politicians to take notice.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, famous for her soothsaying prophecies of the end of the world, now says that we have until the next election to save her job.


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