WASHINGTON, DC—In response to every question about the economy to the war in Ukraine, the new White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre simply answered, “I’m a black lesbian, so…”
“What does the president plan on doing about skyrocketing inflation?” asked one reporter.
“He hired a black lesbian,” Jean-Pierre responded.
“How is the president planning on handling the ongoing crisis in Ukraine?” asked another.
“Have I mentioned that I’m a black lesbian?” Jean-Pierre said.
“Who do you think will win the NBA playoffs?”
“Black lesbians, of course” Jean-Pierre repeated.
The White House issued a press release explaining the behavior shortly after Jean-Pierre’s first press conference.
“We hire the best personnel possible. If you don’t think Ms. Jean-Pierre did a good job then you are clearly a bigot,” the release stated.
Jean-Pierre replaced the previous Secretary Jen Psaki because she wasn’t enough of a black lesbian.