On first day, new Biden Press Secretary answers ‘Because I’m a black lesbian’ to every question

WASHINGTON, DC—In response to every question about the economy to the war in Ukraine, the new White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre simply answered, “I’m a black lesbian, so…”

“What does the president plan on doing about skyrocketing inflation?” asked one reporter.

“He hired a black lesbian,” Jean-Pierre responded.

“How is the president planning on handling the ongoing crisis in Ukraine?” asked another.

“Have I mentioned that I’m a black lesbian?” Jean-Pierre said.

“Who do you think will win the NBA playoffs?”

“Black lesbians, of course” Jean-Pierre repeated.

The White House issued a press release explaining the behavior shortly after Jean-Pierre’s first press conference.

“We hire the best personnel possible. If you don’t think Ms. Jean-Pierre did a good job then you are clearly a bigot,” the release stated.

Jean-Pierre replaced the previous Secretary Jen Psaki because she wasn’t enough of a black lesbian.


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