Velvet Ropes awarded Medal of Freedom for saving democracy during Jan 6 insurrection
WASHINGTON DC- Following its brave defense of freedom during history’s darkest moment, the January 6
Jen Psaki
Biden only needed 3 shots of adrenochrome to stay up this late
WASHINGTON, DC–America can rest easy. We are in good hands. If you were worried about
White House staff confused about who’s still peeing on the floors after Biden’s dogs were removed
WASHINGTON, DC—White House cleaning staff are flummoxed about who is still peeing all over the
Biden to give his first press conference in the year 4032, shortly after it’s okay to stop wearing masks
WASHINGTON, DC—Media reports confirmed today that President Biden is set to have his first press
REPORT: Biden’s teleprompter to give first State of the Union Address
WASHINGTON, DC—Officials in the Biden administration have become increasingly worried about Biden’s mental health, especially
BREAKING: White House schedules Biden’s first State of the Union speech for shortly after he dies
WASHINGTON, DC—The White House has scheduled President Biden’s first State of the Union speech to
Biden approval rating surges after he’s replaced with a cardboard cutout of himself
US—President Biden’s approval rating has surged after he was replaced with a cardboard cutout of
Cuomo updates pronouns to herr/Führer
Breaking: New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo today proclaimed, “From this day forward, I will
Biden calls an early lid on presidency
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden is calling an early lid to his presidency but Vice President Kamala
EXCLUSIVE: NASA releases stunning selfies from Mars rover
JEZERO CRATER, MARS—NASA’s most powerful rover yet, the Perseverance, is regularly sending back images from