Protesters around the country furious over the killing of George Foreman

The sheer embarrassment of it all. Here you have a world boxing champion, one of the strongest men to have ever entered a boxing ring now being held down by a guy 1/4 his weight. How could such a thing come to pass?

Let’s start at the beginning. George was at his usual 7-11 buying up all their hot dogs and sausages. He usually carries around a few dozen grills at all times. He’s really strong. When trying to pay, he pulls out a 50 dollar bill. Everything was going swimmingly until the guy behind the register notices that instead of Ulysses S. Grant on the bill, low and behold was a picture of George Foreman himself.

The look on the guy’s face was priceless until he realized Foreman was deadly serious. He actually wanted to pay for all that stuff with this bogus $50. To make matters worse, Mr. Foreman was shoving all those plump juicy dogs into his mouth, swallowing them whole. No chewing. Very impressive. Wait until Joey Chestnut hears about this. And this was without any dog dunking. Doubly impressive.

Luckily a customer called 911 and about 30 minutes later, two cop cars come screeching to a halt and out pops four Minneapolis cops. Of course, by then little Georgie had downed almost 100 dogs and wanting more.

A tussle ensued both inside and outside the 7-11. After throwing all the cops around with one hand and searching for some chips to have with those dogs with the other, the cops finally had enough.

Luckily, George was shortly found taking a nap in the middle of the street. It was there that he was held down having eaten one hot dog too many. As we all now know, the autopsy showed over 50 hot dogs in George’s lungs, the obvious cause of death. So now you understand what all the looting and rioting is all about.

A sad day in America.