PSA: All public events are cancelled so that residents can meet at Costco to fight over toilet paper

This is a Genesius Times Public Service Announcement regarding the unprecedented coronavirus outbreak:

Until further notice, all public events in your area are cancelled. Everyone should calmly proceed to the nearest Walmart or Costco to fight everyone else over the last remaining toilet paper.

If you need any more reason to irrationally panic, please watch this video.