Trump is literally trying to steal our democracy by not dying in his assassination attempts
The real tragedy of our time isn’t the soaring inflation, crumbling infrastructure, or the total collapse of bipartisan cooperation—no, the...
Donald Trump
BREAKING: DOJ charges 2nd would-be Trump assassin with jaywalking and mostly-peacefully protesting without a permit
MAR-A-LAGO, FL The man who allegedly attempted to assassinate former President Donald Trump has been formally charged—not with attempted murder,...
Trump politely asks CIA snipers to not murder him while he is golfing, thanks
In a move of pure presidential class, Donald Trump has taken to social media to make a simple, yet heartfelt...
BREAKING: CIA fires Trump would-be assassin Routh for failing mission
In a shocking turn of events, the CIA has officially pulled the plug on its notorious "Trump Sniper Program" after...
OpEd: When are we going to have common sense ‘White Dudes for Harris’ control?
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time we all face a cold, hard truth: every crime...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for interfering with second official CIA assassination attempt of him
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — In a shocking turn of events, former President Donald Trump has been indicted yet again, this time...
BREAKING: Famous cats launch ‘Democats for Trump’ following reports of Kamala’s migrants eating pets
Beloved internet icons Grumpy Cat, Dinner Cat, and Hello Kitty have joined forces to launch a new political action group,...
Taylor Swift is growing out her mustache and armpit hair until Trump is taken off the 2024 ballot
NEW YORK—In a bold move, pop sensation Taylor Swift has announced that she will not shave her mustache or armpit...
Kamala says the country is ready to ‘turn the page’ in the book entitled ‘Everything is Trump’s Fault’
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In her first-ever interview since being selected as the Democratic presidential nominee for the 2024 election, Kamala...
4D CHESS: Donald Trump crosses the Southern border illegally, out foxing Jack Smith, receiving full immunity
EL PASO—In a move, many are calling 4d chess, Donald Trump has out foxed prosecutor Jack Smith yet again by...
