Top Predictions for this Year’s Super Bowl

Today is Super Bowl LVII, whatever those numbers mean. I have no clue and neither do you, so stop pretending like you know Roman numerals. Anyway, here are my top predictions for this year’s Super Bowl:

1. The Chiefs and Eagles will be playing against each other this year.

2. The key will be points. The Chiefs will try to score the most, and so will the Eagles. Whoever succeeds stands a good chance of pulling out the win.

3. If a team is winning by a certain number of points and they keep it that way till the end of the game, there’s a pretty solid chance they’ll win the game.

4. If a team is losing by a certain number of points and they keep it that way till the end of the game, there’s a pretty solid chance they’ll lose the game.

5. Whichever team has the most points by the end of the game will win the Super Bowl.

Hope this clears things up.

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Rafi Metz

Rafi is the king of satire, a master of his trade. Nobody is immune to his hyperbolic and satirical outrage. Nobody is spared from being the object of his incessant mockery. Because at the end of the day, everyone is a parody of themselves.

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