OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau declared that Russia may invade and occupy Ukraine as long as they don’t honk their horns.

“Russian forces may even bomb Ukraine but if they so much as tap their car horns, we will send all of the Canadian military might to stop them and keep Ukraine safe,” Trudeau said in a press conference.

Trudeau, who has been dubbed Mooselini, may be stretching himself thin as he has already declared war on the truck horn terrorists in his own country.

“Another thing we will not allow the Russians to do is bring bouncy castles,” Trudeau said.

Trudeau recently led a cavalry of inflatable unicorns—a special division of The Canadian Mounties—to quash the Truckistan bouncy castles in Ottawa.

“And I war Vladimir Putin—do not test our resolve on this. Honking horns and playing in bouncy castles is probably the worst thing you could do,” Trudeau said.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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