WASHINGTON DC—President Donald Trump has given a eulogy for the KKK Cyclops and recruiter Senator Robert C. Byrd just like his Democratic opponent Joe Biden did in hopes that mainstream media outlets would stop calling him racist.

Trump will also eulogize segregationist Strom Thurmond, praise segregationists James Eastland (D-MS) and Herman Talmadge (D-GA), and tell black people “you ain’t black” if you don’t vote for him and “poor kids are just as talented as white kids,” just like Biden has in order to take the heat off of him.

“The president has clearly been going about the whole racism thing wrong by denouncing white supremacy every chance he gets and declaring the KKK a terrorist organization. He clearly should have just followed Biden’s lead and given eulogies for KKK members in order for the media to stop calling him racist,” Genesius Times political analyst Sam Eagle said.

“Now that I’ve told black people ‘they ain’t black’ if they don’t vote for me and given eulogies to KKK Grand Wizards just like Biden did, the media will treat me the same as they do Biden, right?” Trump asked at a press conference after the eulogy.

In a stunning development, it appears many news outlets have not changed their tune despite the president’s emulating Biden’s race tactics.

About Author

Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

See author's posts