MIAMI—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for the heinous crime of not sniffing children during his recent visit to the Miami Grand Prix. The indictment, which was handed down by a grand jury in Washington D.C., accuses Trump of “willful and deliberate disregard for the well-being and happiness of America’s youth.”

According to the indictment, Trump was seen at the Miami Grand Prix event, mingling with various celebrities, race car drivers, and wealthy individuals. However, at no point during his visit did he pause to sniff any of the children who were present, causing them to feel neglected and unimportant.

“This is a grave and serious offense,” said Special Prosecutor Adam Schiff, who led the investigation. “President Trump had a responsibility to sniff each and every child who crossed his path, and his failure to do so constitutes a clear violation of his duties as a former leader of the free world.”

The indictment goes on to detail the various ways in which Trump’s actions have harmed the children of America. “By not sniffing these innocent youths, Mr. Trump has caused them untold emotional distress and trauma,” Schiff continued. “They will never be able to forget the day when they were cruelly and callously ignored by the man who once held the highest office in the land.”

In response to the indictment, Trump has issued a statement vehemently denying the charges. “This is nothing more than a partisan witch hunt,” he declared. “I have always been a champion of children, and I will not stand idly by while my good name is dragged through the mud.”

Trump’s legal team has vowed to fight the charges, arguing that the former president’s actions were entirely within the bounds of the law. “There is no legal requirement that Mr. Trump sniff every child he encounters,” said defense attorney Rudy Giuliani. “This is a gross overreach of governmental power, and we will not allow it to stand.”

As the case moves forward, many are left wondering what the future holds for Trump and his relationship with America’s youth. Will he be found guilty of this unspeakable crime, or will he emerge triumphant, his reputation intact?

Only time will tell, but one thing is certain: the children of America will never forget the day when they were so cruelly and callously ignored by the man who once held the highest office in the land. And as they grow older, they will carry with them the memory of that fateful day at the Miami Grand Prix, a reminder of the importance of sniffing children and the dangers of complacency.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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