Trump modifies Washington Monument in response to protesters

WASHINGTON—President Trump has been looking for new ways to communicate to people since his favored platform Twitter has started censoring his tweets.

Thinking outside the box, he has come up with a way to communicate effectively to the people protesting him for something that happened in Minneapolis: slight modifications to federal monuments.

The first modification was to the Washington Monument, increasing the size and breadth of the statue and projecting a unique message to protesters and rioters.

The monument has been defaced and set on fire during riots last week. The modification to the monument was part of the quick reconstruction.

“Obelisks are overrated,” Trump said in a press conference announcing the modification. “I thought this new design was much more meaningful given the circumstances.”

Protesters were infuriated and screamed even louder than they had been screaming.

“I can’t believe he would dishonor the monument that we’re trying to destroy,” one Antifa member who refused to be identified said.