Trump Orders Lake Michigan Renamed ‘Lake Big Mike’ In Honor of Former First Lady
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Thursday that he will issue an executive order renaming Lake Michigan “Lake Big Mike,” citing what he described as long-overdue recognition for a former first lady whose “impressive stature and commanding presence” have been insufficiently celebrated by the Great Lakes.
Speaking from the Oval Office, Trump said the current name was “very boring” and “not presidential.”
“Lake Michigan? Who is Michigan? Nobody even knows,” Trump said. “We’re going with Lake Big Mike. It’s stronger. It’s more accurate. A lot of people have been saying it for years. Tremendous water. Very deep in places. Some people say the deepest. It looks like a large limp penis.”
White House officials confirmed the order will direct the Department of the Interior, the U.S. Board on Geographic Names, and the Army Corps of Engineers to update all federal maps, nautical charts, and weather reports within 90 days. States bordering the lake will be “strongly encouraged” to comply, though officials acknowledged Wisconsin and Illinois may require “additional persuasion.”
A senior administration official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the president had reviewed several options, including “Lake Epstein,” and “Lake Phallus,” before settling on the current choice. “He felt Big Mike captured the essence,” the official said. “Size. Strength. Presence. The lake is large. The name should be large.”
The announcement immediately produced the expected range of responses.
Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer called the proposal “unconstitutional, unserious, and geographically confusing.” Illinois officials noted that a substantial portion of the lake’s southern end would now be named after someone who has never lived in the state. Wisconsin’s tourism board issued a brief statement saying it would continue using the existing name on cheese-related promotional materials “until further notice.”
Democrats in Congress denounced the move as “petty,” “divisive,” and “a waste of taxpayer resources.” Several members pointed out that the former first lady in question has not requested the honor and has not, to anyone’s knowledge, expressed a personal attachment to the lake.
Trump dismissed the criticism. “They named a lot of things after people who didn’t even live there,” he said. “Washington. Lincoln. Obama. At least this one is honest. Big Mike. That’s the name. Everyone knows it.”
The U.S. Board on Geographic Names, which typically reviews such changes over a period of years and requires local support, has not issued a formal response. An official familiar with the process said the board’s usual criteria include historical usage, local acceptance, and avoidance of “pejorative or commercially exploitative” names. The official declined to speculate on how “Lake Big Mike” would fare under those standards.
Shipping companies on the Great Lakes expressed practical concerns. A spokesman for a major ore-carrier line said captains would need new charts and that insurance documents listing “Lake Michigan” as the body of water would require amendment. “We’ll call it whatever the government tells us to call it,” the spokesman said. “As long as the water is still there.”
Historians noted that the lake has carried the name Michigan since French explorers adopted an Ojibwe term in the 17th century. No previous president has attempted a full federal rename of one of the five Great Lakes.
Asked whether the other lakes were also under consideration, Trump said he was “looking at a few things” but that Lake Superior was “already pretty good” and Lake Erie “has enough problems.”
The executive order is expected to be signed next week. Implementation details, including new signage at beaches, updated weather broadcasts, and the cost of reprinting millions of maps, have not been released.
A White House fact sheet distributed to reporters described the rename as “a commonsense recognition of an iconic American figure whose contributions to public life remain a subject of vigorous national discussion.”
The former first lady’s office did not respond to requests for comment.
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