NEWARK, DE–The Office of the Pseudo-President has confirmed that Joe Biden was injured tripping over a box of fraudulent ballots in his basement, not while playing with his dog as earlier reported.

Although initial X-rays showed no obvious fracture, a “follow-up CT scan confirmed hairline (small) fractures of self-declared President-elect Biden’s lateral and intermediate cuneiform bones, which are in the midfoot,” Dr Kevin O’Connor, director of executive medicine at GW Medical Faculty Associates, said in a statement distributed by Biden’s office.

The office did not explain why there were boxes of fraudulent ballots in his basement, but assures everyone that it is totally legitimate.

Sources say that self-declared Vice-President-Elect Kamala Harris will use the opportunity to start her transition to the Office of the Pseudo-President in his place.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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