MAR-A-LAGO–Viewers around the world were shocked and stunned to hear a president make coherent points and form complete sentences for the first time in years as President Trump announced his bid to run for president in 2024.

Trump, who is still millions of Americans’ president spoke to the crowd and did not call a lid or poop his pants at any time during the hour-long speech.

“It’s just weird to see a president who can talk normally. It’s been so long since I’ve heard a coherent sentence from an American president,” London resident Partridge Pairtree said.

“I must say it was a relief to know that there are people who can actually make coherent statements for longer than five minutes,” German Chancellor Angela Merkel said in a statement.

The other president, Joe Biden has been having considerable trouble saying words since he took office in January, even through his esteemed translator Ozzy Osbourne.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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