BREAKING: CIA fires Trump would-be assassin Routh for failing mission
In a shocking turn of events, the CIA has officially pulled the plug on its notorious "Trump Sniper Program" after...
Year: 2024
OpEd: When are we going to have common sense ‘White Dudes for Harris’ control?
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time we all face a cold, hard truth: every crime...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for interfering with second official CIA assassination attempt of him
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — In a shocking turn of events, former President Donald Trump has been indicted yet again, this time...
BREAKING: National touring company has canceled upcoming ‘Cats’ performance in Springfield, Ohio
SPRINGFIELD, OH—In an unprecedented move, the National Touring Company of Cats has canceled its much-anticipated performance in Springfield, Ohio, citing...
Oxford to discontinue “Is the Pope Catholic?” idiom
After several years of questionable Catholicism by Pope Francis, Oxford, publisher of the Official World Idiom Book, has announced it...
AOC: If socialism doesn’t work, why are all my socialist friends in DC multi-millionaires?
WASHINGTON, DC—Friends, I had another deep thought that I'd like to share. Lots of idiots out there say that socialism...
LEAKED: Taylor Swift contract to endorse Kamala Harris for $100,000 and lifetime supply of adrenochrome
NEW YORK—A leaked contract has revealed that pop megastar Taylor Swift is allegedly set to endorse Vice President Kamala Harris...
BREAKING: Famous cats launch ‘Democats for Trump’ following reports of Kamala’s migrants eating pets
Beloved internet icons Grumpy Cat, Dinner Cat, and Hello Kitty have joined forces to launch a new political action group,...
Taylor Swift is growing out her mustache and armpit hair until Trump is taken off the 2024 ballot
NEW YORK—In a bold move, pop sensation Taylor Swift has announced that she will not shave her mustache or armpit...
Former California Dem-turned-Rep switches back after sex scandal, ‘All is forgiven’
In a surprising turn of events, California State Senator Marie Alvarado-Gil has returned to the Democratic Party after facing a...
