BREAKING: France eager to get into Ukraine-Russia war so that they can surrender to someone soon
PARIS—France has announced that it is eager to join the ongoing conflict between Ukraine and Russia, expressing a fervent desire...
Year: 2025
MSNBC fires Joy Reid because she didn’t call people racist hard enough
In a shocking twist that absolutely no one saw coming (except maybe the internet), Joy Reid, former MSNBC host and...
BREAKING: Anti-war Democrats furious at Trump for attempting to end two wars
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Anti-war Democrats including Senator Bernie Sanders are furious that President Trump wants to end two wars. The unexpected peace...
BREAKING: Child of B-List celebrity bravely comes out as attention whore
HOLLYWOOD—In a jaw-dropping moment that caught absolutely no one off guard, 19-year-old Skyler Montague—offspring of former River Hollow teen idol...
If you don’t want your plane to explode and flip over on landing, you may be a sexist racist bigot
It's 2025, and we're still grappling with what it means to be 'woke' on a global scale, but nowhere is...
German authorities arrest man for making false claim online that there is no free speech in Germany
BERLIN, GERMANY - German authorities have arrested a local man, Hans Schmidt, for the audacious act of stating online that...
Democrats insist century-old Social Security recipients are real, and they all voted for Biden
Washington, D.C. - In what can only be described as the most unexpected audit in history, Elon Musk's newly established...
SUPRRISE: Trump unveils his face on Mount Rushmore for Presidents’ Day
KEYSTONE, South Dakota – In a move that has left historians, geologists, and just about everyone else in utter disbelief,...
Weirdos try to play hockey in the middle of the US-Canada ice boxing match
MONTREAL—In what was supposed to be a brutal but beautiful display of ice boxing—a sport where gloved combatants duke it...
BREAKING: Mitch McConnell blinks twice to vote ‘No’ on Tulsi Gabbard
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a dramatic moment that left the Senate chamber in stunned silence—or perhaps just mild confusion—Senate Minority...
