Trade war escalates: Trump slaps 150% tariff on Mitch McConnell’s wife
President Donald Trump announced a 150% tariff on Elaine Chao, the wife of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, in what...
Year: 2025
After exhaustive search, Kamala Harris finally finds a university willing to host her new policy center
After an epic, coast-to-coast hunt for the perfect academic perch, former Vice President Kamala Harris has finally secured a home...
BREAKING: Democrats furious that Trump did what they’ve demanded he do
President Donald Trump announced a surprise pause on all U.S. tariffs this week, effectively halting the trade war with China...
Trade war escalates: Trump slaps 125% tariff on all of Eric Swalwell’s Chinese spy lovers
Washington, D.C. – The U.S.-China trade war reached a fever pitch this week as President Donald Trump announced a staggering...
Trump Ends U.S.-China Trade War with Bombshell Swap: Hong Kong for Portland, Oregon
Washington, D.C. – In a move that has left global leaders scratching their heads and cartographers reaching for their erasers,...
BREAKING: Tariff War Sends Prices of Chinese Rubber Dog Sh*t Soaring
Hong Kong – In a bizarre twist to the ongoing U.S.-China tariff war, the cost of flights carrying rubber dog...
Local man dies from plume of neighbor’s disgusting new perfume
Evergreen Meadows, Suburbia – In a tragic yet fragrant turn of events, local man Carl Jenkins, 52, was pronounced dead...
Senators advised not to wear their Qipaos while speaking about China tariffs
Washington, D.C. – The Senate chamber turned into a sartorial circus this week as senators were cautioned against wearing qipaos...
BREAKING: Amy Coney Barrett gets face tattoos in solidarity with MS-13 gang members
Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett debuted an audacious new style this week: a full array of face tattoos inked...
Local dad makes sure kids don’t waste pennies leaving lights on so he can waste thousands in crypto
In the quaint suburban town of Evergreen Meadows, local dad Greg Thompson has elevated frugality to a performance art—provided it’s...
