BREAKING: Eric Swalwell resigns from Congress for stuff he totally didn’t do
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning development that surprised absolutely no one paying attention, Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif.) announced his...
Month: April 2026
Swalwell Transitions to Black Woman, Prompting Immediate Dismissal of All Sexual Assault Allegations
WASHINGTON — Facing mounting calls to drop out of the California gubernatorial race after four women accused him of sexual...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris ‘Seriously Thinking About’ Losing Again in 2028
Washington, D.C. — In a development that has sent mild ripples through the Democratic Party’s already exhausted support base, sources...
Canada reveals new fully-inclusive LGBTQ+ acronym with 8 billion characters
Canadian activist group Identititarian Linguists Lithograph (ILL) have published a book containing the latest, most inclusive acronym for the LGBTQQIX2+...
BREAKING: Israel warns Trump that Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens are 2 weeks away from developing nuclear weapon
Jerusalem, April 10 — In a stark intelligence briefing delivered to President Donald Trump’s incoming national security team, Israeli officials...
Netanyahu Warns Trump: Vatican City One Month From Nuclear Weapon
Jerusalem – In a late-night phone call that reportedly lasted 47 minutes and included several awkward pauses while aides Googled...
UK Agrees to Let Kanye In If He Converts to Islam and Rapes At Least 5 White Girls During His Stay
LONDON — In a bold move hailed as a triumph for diversity, inclusion, and pragmatic border policy, the British Home...
BREAKING: Lindsey Graham Threatens to Jump From Washington Monument Unless U.S. Immediately Resumes Bombing Iran
WASHINGTON—In a scene reminiscent of a budget superhero movie gone wrong, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) climbed the Washington Monument Tuesday...
BREAKING: Civilizational annihilation put on hold for two weeks
Washington, D.C. — In a dramatic late-night Truth Social announcement that left national security analysts blinking in confusion, President Donald...
Rep Hank Johnson Warns Trump ‘The Whole Island of Iran Will Capsize If Troops Sent In’
WASHINGTON — Fearing for the lives of thousands of Marines, Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA) urgently advised the Trump administration Tuesday...
