NY Times Wins Pulitzer For Nailing 3 Out of 4 Words In ‘NATO’
NEW YORK — In a stunning display of journalistic precision that left the industry breathless, The New York Times was...
Month: April 2026
Ketanji Jackson argues that since Trump bombed Iran, he’s now an Iranian citizen
WASHINGTON — In a landmark 5-4 decision delivered Monday, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson held that former President Donald...
Pope Leo clarifies: Christ didn’t go to Hell after being crucified; He went to Portland
Vatican City — In a surprise clarification issued from the Apostolic Palace on Holy Saturday, Pope Leo XIV has revised...
Federal Judge Orders Artemis II Crew to Turn Around Mid-Flight, Seek Congressional Approval Before Proceeding to Moon
Houston, TX – In a landmark ruling delivered from the bench via emergency Zoom hearing, U.S. District Judge Hugh Jassole...
Trump Replaces AG Pam Bondi with Literal Gaslight in Bold Cabinet Shake-Up
Washington, D.C. — In a move described by White House officials as “totally normal and definitely not weird,” President Donald...
Encouraging Positive Money Habits
Money is often one of the most stressful aspects of life. Whether it's keeping up with bills, paying off debt,...
Chicago Bulls Fire Jaden Ivey for Failing to Meet NBA Minimum on Baby Mamas and Cocaine Usage
Chicago, IL — In a stunning move that has sent shockwaves through the league, the Chicago Bulls announced Tuesday the...
Justice Ketanji Jackson Says She Will Only Hear Oral Arguments on April 1st from Now On: ‘That Way I Can Always Claim I Was Just Joking’
WASHINGTON — Citing the overwhelming success of her previous April Fools’ Day legal strategy, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson...
Iranian President Clarifies: That Whole ‘Death to America’ Was a Misunderstanding; ‘We Really Meant Health to America!’
Tehran, Iran – In a stunning diplomatic pivot that has left international observers reaching for their calendars to confirm it’s...
BREAKING: Trump Cuts Ties with Israel, Ends Hostilities in Iran, Orders Mass Arrests of Epstein Clients
Washington, D.C. – In a stunning Rose Garden announcement Tuesday morning, President Donald J. Trump simultaneously severed diplomatic relations with...
