NHL hockey is back with it’s first set of openers today. Is it the same? Hell no. Are there fans? Nope. Have politics entered into every aspect of daily life including hockey? Hell yes.

There have been many suggestions for the NHL to join MLB, NFL, NBA and just about every professional and amateur sport in letting us know there is no longer any place for white people on the playing field.

The first of many suggestions for the NHL was to eliminate black pucks. Why should be pucks be black anyway? These black rubber discs must bear the brunt of slap shots, crossbar hits, plexiglass and general abuse. White pucks have been around for……well never because they disappear on white ice though it would make for some interesting hockey. The entire first period could be devoted to finding the puck.

Another suggestion was to collect all the black ice from inner cities during winter, store it in an underground bunker in Norway, when needed transport it to ice rinks throughout North America, and then use white pucks for the contrast. The cost of $42 trillion was felt to be a bit too steep amid COVID-19 and eventually it was scrapped for a less costly program of “Black Ice Matters” but even that didn’t catch on because the “Don’t Play in the Yellow Snow” movement took precedence.

The next suggestion was to simply utilize affirmative action for the NHL. Actually this was tried in the early ’80s, however this led to the hospitalization of every black player since none of them knew how to skate or cross-check. Affirmative action was dropped pretty quickly and may explain the paucity of black hockey players today. It’s definitely not because Black Canadians make up less than 3 percent of the population. No, that’s definitely not it. Racism!

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